


Nothing Left to Say Now

by nightchaenges



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, and also for the bamina, here's a michaeng angst no one asked for, lame updates coz im kewl, or maybe not, sorry for the mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-03 05:43:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15812604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightchaenges/pseuds/nightchaenges
Summary: also posted on aff, yyiiet.





	1. Enchanted

3:31 am

It's the few weeks before the end of February when she found herself in the middle of the night loitering around the park.

It was dark and cold and the only thing that's keeping her warm is her jacket and the soothing flow of music in her ears.

She didn't even know how she had got there; the only thing she can think of was waking up from a nightmare – the same old event that hunts her even in her woken state. She remembers clutching 'minguin' in her arms as the tears fall silently. It's like she wants it to stop, yet she can't – wouldn't find a reason to start. She remembers walking out of the door like a ghost so Dahyun won't wake up – she knows she wouldn't stand the look of worry in her face, she had enough of that last night.

She's glad she thought of taking a walk because whoa! This is really better than anything in her dreams. She's not sure what it is that made the place beautiful; the park was obviously unkempt, it was dark and the only thing that lights up the whole place is the old lamp posts, there are even junks around, yet she still finds herself in awe of everything.

Maybe it's the harmonious emotions that the solitude brings about, or maybe it's because of her strong desire to find a flicker of peace amidst the loudness of the dark.

**Everything in silence is beautiful.**

Chaeyoung walked further down the park, where the lights are more illuminated. She has her camera on her hand and is ready to capture  _anything_  that will catch her eye.

She reached the picnic station a few minutes later. And that's when she saw her; a tall girl sitting on one of the benches, wearing a petticoat that's too small for her, a cell phone clutched in her hand, and her face even under the terrible lighting still looks so beautiful.

_Whoa!_  Indeed.

She removed her headphones and just admired her. She felt her hand itched to take photos. So, without hesitation, Chaeyoung brought her camera up and leveled it on her eyes, and then she started taking shots. She took good use of the angle where the girl is sitting and focused on her side profile.

Click

Click

Click

She didn't even know how many shots she got, she only stopped when the girl started moving, and she feared she might have already made her presence known. Chaeyoung moved behind the bushes accordingly, as not to scare her and not to seem like she's stalking her - which is clearly the last thing she wants.

She brushed her fingers on the screen of the camera where the still image of the girl is showing. She stopped at the one picture where the girl was staring up ahead the clear sky; the stars are much more visible this day and they seem to contrast the look on the girl's eyes. Like the stars, it shines, and in the vein of the night, her eyes hold such darkness. She was sad, yet the girl is majestic in her own miserable way.

She's not sleepwalking per se - but she feels like one because a picturesque something like this can't be real. It's dreamlike, and so is the foreign feeling that starts forming inside of her. "So pretty," she whispered unknowingly.

Chaeyoung should be walking back to her apartment right now, instead of silently watching the girl, yet she can't help it; there's something about the gray aura surrounding the girl that makes her compelling.

"You can come out now. I know you're in there," the girl suddenly voiced out.

_Shit_ , she's aware of her now. "I swear I don't bite."

"I – umm – sorry," Chaeyoung apologizes. She removed herself from behind the bushes and showed up to the other girl.

"What are you doing outside this late, kid?" the girl questioned her.

"Shouldn't I also be asking you that?" she said it with enough confidence she even shocked herself.  _ **Just play it cool.**_

"Touché," she replied while smiling. "Would you like to sit with me?" offered the girl while patting the space next to her.

Chaeyoung can't believe she's even talking to her, let alone asked her if wants to sit with her.  _ **I'm dreaming, and I don't anyone to wake me up.**_

"Aren't you afraid whether if I'm a bad person or something?" Chaeyoung walked to the girl, all while keeping her poise to seem like she's not nervous or anything.

"Well, are you?" she asked reluctantly.

"I'm not, I swear." She took the offer and sat next to the stranger. "Also – don't ever call me a kid."

It was followed by silence and a strange feeling of comfort.

"That's a cool camera," complimented the girl, looking over the camera on the other's hands.

"Y-yeah," she replied in a low voice.

"Are you some kind of a creep or something?"

"NO! – I mean of course not," she looked at her incredulously. She changed her tone when she saw the cynical look on the other girl's face. "I-I'm no creep or something I just have a thing with cameras and anything beautiful. Believe me, I'm anything but that."

"Are you sure? Then why did you sound so defensive right now?"

Disbelief displayed on Chaeyoung's face.

"It's just I'm – you're," she stuttered, feeling so embarrassed right now.  _ **Fuck this, fuck my life.**_

"You know I'm just kidding, right?"

"Yeah," She mentally face-palmed herself, she must have appeared so stupid right now. She only wanted to act cool in front of her!

"You're cute," the still unnamed girl laughed, and it was like an orchestra in her ears. Goddamn perfect kid.

"I'm sorry I took pictures of you without your consent. If it made you uncomfortable, I can delete everything," she looked at her apologetically, "That's not really a good thing to do." she's fiddling the lace of her camera, showing how wreck of a nervous ball she really is now. Thank goodness the girl still hasn't caught up with that.

"It's okay, you can keep it." She reassured her. "I'm used to it anyways." She said it without sounding like she's bragging or anything – but instead sounded like it's a common occurrence for her. She dismissed her curiosity on what the other girl meant by that.

"I was like invading your privacy – your private moment whatever it is earlier, how are you not weirded out by it?"

"Do you want me to take it back then?" The girl eyed her, teasingly.

Chaeyoung kept silent, of course, she doesn't want to, in fact, she wanted to frame the photos and display them on every museum in their town. She's a masterpiece that needs to be flaunted everywhere and be admired by everyone.

"So you think I'm beautiful." The tall girl muttered unexpectedly.

"Huh?" she looked at her confused. Is she a mind reader?

"You said you have a thing with cameras and anything  _beautiful_ ," answered her.

"Oh, that." Blood rushes on her cheeks as the realization hits her. "I - umm –"

"It's fine, like what I said:  _I'm used to it_." She interrupted Chaeyoung.

"No, hear me out first. It's just that you looked really pretty sitting here at peace and seemingly lost in your world, it was really breathtaking. I'm a photographer and l know how important lighting is, what's more, is that you looked wonderful even under all these goddamn lights, and – why are you laughing?" Chaeyoung's heart started pounding when she heard her laugh in the middle of her rambling.

The girl just stared at her amused. She's smiling at her, she's so close and Chaeyoung can point out her cute dimple showing. Her palms started sweating.

Chaeyoung let out a nervous laugh.

"Thank you," the girl enunciated, still smiling and still looking at her. "You have a good way with words,

Chaeyoung stared back at her feeling ecstatic. She stared at her with exuding confidence and so much intensity; the kind that instigates goosebumps. She can feel the atmosphere becoming heavier and how it took the air out from both of them. She watched as the girl heave out a lungful of breath, and how the girl looks so lost staring at her. There's hardly anyone around in this hour to disrupt this weird tension forming between them, and Chaeyoung can't help but be satisfied.

The girl was the first one to break off their staring contest, outwardly bashful. Chaeyoung was a giggling mess when she took in the prospect of the other girl; from being confident to become self-conscious. ** _I can get used to this_**. She thought.

"Stop it," she said, looking at the ground and moving her feet like a kid.

"I'm not doing anything," Chaeyoung reasoned out still looking at her.

She watched the little movements of the girl, even the timid way she played with her feet, and how she brushed her hair with her hand. And how her lips curved up in a smile, especially her smile – it reminded her of someone.

Then in the flash of a moment her musings drove her back in the past; Pain shots through her heart, when she remembered her in the person she's currently with: her laughs, her haunting presence, her smile, and above all her love – even if it wasn't there in the first place. She realized she didn't even cross her mind until this moment. She deliberates if it was a good thing or not.

Chaeyoung is still staring, still disoriented. She didn't even realize the girl's already holding her hand.

"You – why are you -" she questioned her.

"You okay?" asked the girl, she let go of her hand when she became aware of the tensed photographer beside her. "You kind of drifted off for a moment there. I thought you were going to cry,"

"Oh, I just remembered something,"

"Something bad?"

"Y-yeah," she hesitated to answer.

Silence, again.

"So what exactly are you doing out this late?" Chaeyoung opted to change awkward tension by asking the lingered question earlier. The girl responded with a sigh. She pulled down the sides of her jacket to her feet, feeling cold and rather tired.  _ **A private matter then**_.

"The sun's about to break out soon," she heard the girl murmuring, her eyes pointing towards the horizon. "Yeah, it is," concurred Chaeyoung, also watching the sky with serenity.

The previous blue sky is slowly mixing up with a tinge of orange-yellowish color; it was soothing, to say the least.

/ The sun will stop shining soon, and you'll be gone from my life / 

The stranger hums in her low voice. Chaeyoung looks at her wide-eyed.

/ Yeah, you'll be gone, it's as simple as a change of heart / But I'm not gonna think about the future / Chaeyoung continues singing.

"You like them?" asked the unknown girl with the same glimmer on her eyes.

Chaeyoung grins "Are you kidding me? They're really fucking good," The girl giggled when she heard her cursed excitedly.

And their weird discussion about their interests ensues, they talked about the oceans and the sky and everything between them.

They both learned a lot of things about each other.

Chaeyoung learns the girl had a thing with dogs.

"I have one at home,"

"What's his name?"

"Gucci,"

"That sounds expensive,"

She smiled.

"I once had a cat named Leonardo." professed Chaeyoung

"Leonardo? Like the renaissance artist?"

"No, from Hollywood: Leonardo DiCatrio," she snorted.

"That sounds so stupid." They both laughed. "I like it."

The girl learns about Chaeyoung's passion for photography.

"You're a landscape photographer?"

"Yeah, I just told you that. I also take pictures of Architectures."

"That makes a lot of sense then,"

"What?"

"Nothing," Chaeyoung disregards her sketchy answer.

Instead, she tells the girl about her weird obsession with pop artists Demi Lovato and Taylor Swift.

"They were pretty much my childhood."

"Have you seen them live?"

"I saw Demi once, in high school,"

"Is she good?"

"She's the best." She looked up, with her gleam-filled eyes.

"You're such a fangirl," The girl replied with a smile and a promise that she'll try to listen to their songs.

The stranger even shared her fondness for chick-flick movies.

"I didn't peg you as a hopeless romantic; you look more like the type that prefers horror and all those gore shits."

"That's too stereotypical." The taller girl looked at her with a hint of purpose. "I'm not like other people," she smirked and Chaeyoung felt chills.  _ **God, that's hot.**_

The way the breeze sweeps her flock of hair was similar to whenever goddesses were presented in movies. She imagines the girl as exactly like that; a deity, making everyone falls on their knees, begging her to grace them with her beauty. And Chaeyoung wouldn't mind being one of her worshippers.

They shared the same fiery gaze, only to be ruined by another gust of wind.

The photographer moved closer to her when she noticed a fallen eyelash on the other's cheek. She reached her hand closer to her face to brush it away, which made the girl to look at her, flustered. Her hand stopped track at her chin. Then time seems to stop.  

And there it is again, the unresolved burning sexual tension – or whatever it is earlier that makes her heart burst at the seams.

_She_  let out a gasp.

"Fallen eyelash," Chaeyoung whispered shyly. "Make a wish." No reaction.

She was just about to fall back to her seat awkwardly when the girl tugged at the hem of her jacket and pulled her back closer – much closer, she can feel the hot breathe coming out of her perfectly carved mouth. And the look on the other girl's face tells her she wants  _this_  too.

"I'll tell you a secret." She speaks softly. Their faces only inches apart from each other.

"W-what is it?" Chaeyoung replied, slowly losing her composure. She can almost taste the sweetness of her lip-gloss.

"I really want to kiss you right now." She breathes out, her fingers tracing the outline of the photographer's face, from her eyes, down and down until it reached her upper lip. She got aware of her own and licked it warily, Chaeyoung swears it's the sexiest thing she ever did that night. 

"Okay," Chaeyoung gulps, and momentarily closes her eyes when she felt something on her chin, "But I might be bad at it," she whispers, taking pleasure in the way her lips felt on her skin.

"I don't care," she heard the girl mumbling on her skin. Chaeyoung flutters her eyes open when the movements stopped fleetingly,  only to close it again when she felt the electricity the moment she met her lust-filled eyes.  A pair of brown orbs were the last thing she saw.

"You're so pretty," and it was the last thing she heard before everything else was blurred out by euphoria. 

She can hear her mom's voice in a distance saying something roughly similar to how she should give kisses only to people that matter the most.  She had learned to comply with this for years, until this moment. 

She also learned how to deal with signs, but nothing could have prepared her for this; the softness of her lips, and the way they dance with her own, and how it felt a lot like  _freedom;_ the synchronicity of their movements: her hand on either side of her face, while the stranger's hand were both caressing her back; the emotions burning between the brief clashes of their tongues. 

// A _nd we were kissing like drowning people breathe—like suddenly we'd discovered something that has never been so sweet before that moment //_

It wasn't her first kiss, but it's the first time she felt like this in a while, and it's  _everything._

They were both in cloud-nine,

Soaring up the sky

Soaring.

Soarin-

Until a storm comes and disturbs the peace and high they were on; a storm in a form of a cellphone ringtone.

"Shoot," Chaeyoung heard the girl mutter in between her lips. She pulled back, seemingly dazed so she gave herself a moment before she looks at her again.

"I need to go," proclaims the girl, apparently lost in her thoughts she doesn't even notice her swollen lips and disheveled hair.

"What?" her tone seems to have dropped a certain level.

"I- I think it's important," she answered vaguely,

"See you around?"

"I think that would be hard." 

"What do you mean?"

"Just - just keep the pictures, okay. Stare at it all you want, I wouldn't mind." she pronounces, mildly laughing at the last part. Chaeyoung watched her as she fixed her jacket, and how she smooths her hair.

"So goodbye, then?" Chaeyoung asked, disappointedly. 

She gave her a sad smile, "Yeah," She hastily stands up,  turns her back at Chaeyoung and slowly moves her feet. Chaeyoung can only watch her walked away, dumbfoundedly, and then she remembers something. Chaeyoung stands up and chases her back.

"Hey wait! You never told me your name." the unnamed girl looks back at her and shot her that striking smile again.

"It's Sally," she uttered.

Chaeyoung wants to tell she's really beautiful; wants to say: "This was kind of magical, do you mind if we do it again?" she felt it was the right thing to say, but before she can even say anything the girl's already crossed the road, Chaeyoung can only sigh in defeat.

"Sally," she repeats to herself. "Why does it feel like, you're 'bout to break into my world."

She walked back into her apartment and let herself ponder to the image of the girl driving her path into her life; she let herself get lost to it – which in her experience, should be the last thing she should do.

The last time she ever let a girl enter her world was also the first time she learned it doesn't take such natural disasters to ruin one;

It would only take a face, three words, and a letter. 

She brushes the thought away because right now, at this moment, she has a different dilemma: Where in the world will she look for the girl?

 

 

-

Lyrics are from the song 'A Love like this' by Kodaline

Quote by Morgan Matson

(Listen to Taylor Swift's Enchanted, u r welcome)

  
  



	2. Don't Forget

[trigger warning for a bit of homophobic remark and self-harm]

Dahyun  
She woke up on the wrong side of the bed – quite literally since she’s not even on her bed, she’s lying down on the couch, her head almost hanging on the foot side, hair sprawled on her face – with a bit of drool travelling down her chin, her limbs spread out on the small space and a thick duvet was enveloping her whole body. She groaned when she was met by a blinding ray of lights upon opening her eyes, she squeezed it and tried to get used to the lights. She contained herself from vomiting a mouthful of curse words when an inevitable headache hit her too soon than she’d expected. A sound of a phone ringtone resonates the room as she was just about to close her eyelids. Argh!

 

// It’s just you and I tonight, why don’t you figure my heart out? //

 

 “Aren’t you going to turn it off?” she complained, only to be responded with a silence. She covered her head with her pillow in an attempt to lessen the pain in her head which only to be rendered useless when the throbbing just got worse.  
“Answer it, or I will!” Not even a single word for a reply.

 

She got off of her bed begrudgingly and stomped to where she thought her best friend was, she grabbed a pillow just in case she was still sleeping. She was disheartened to see the bed being deserted and all. Of course, she’s not here.  
Disappointing but not at all appalling.

 

The cell phone rings once more and she groaned again because it’s really hurting her ears. She searched for the noise in every corner of the mess that is their living room until she found it inside the vase. The reason how it got there is questionable yet she refused to dwell on it. “Oh, it’s mine,” she picked up the device and quickly put her password in. “Who in the hell changed my ringtone?” She’s pretty sure her roommate’s the person behind it; well, it’s either her or Sana. She snickered when she remembered the petty argument she had with Chaeyoung last night about her lame choices in music. Chaeyoung-ah, you little shit. 

 

12 missed calls from an unknown number.

Her head throbbed when she saw the two digit number on her phone, it’s only 6:50 am and yet the morning’s already greeting her with stress. Tell me this is an emergency because I’m going to sue someone if it’s not.  
The thirteenth time it rang, she quickly picked it up and ready her speech if ever this was only a prank call.

Hello? This is Dahyun. She greeted groggily.  
Heaving  
Hello?  
No answer.  
Is this an emergency? Can you answer, please? This is not really a good time for jokes. Dahyun massages her head with her hand.   
Another heavy breath and Dahyun’s getting really annoyed at this point.  
Hey if you don-   
Then she heard a static noise that pierced through her ear. They hung up the call. What now?   
With a smirk plastered on her face and a thought that it’s only a prank call, she dialed the number again and called it, she’s just going to give these kids a lesson, and maybe a little threat.   
Ring  
Ring  
But they didn’t pick up; instead, she was responded by a familiar monotone voice.

 

Leave a message after the tone.

 

She bit her lip to stop herself from yelling to spare these kids from a headache she’s currently having, and yes maybe it didn’t go quite as she wanted to because she found herself screaming curse words, ignoring the fact that whosever on the other end might be just a couple of kids.

DON’T EVER CALL THIS NUMBER AGAIN!  OR I’M GONNA CALL SATAN TO FETCH YOU ALL BACK TO HELL!

She rolled her eyes and throws herself on the couch, she tossed her cell phone on the table, it fell with a thud, but she ignored it. She’s not really in the mood. 

 

She’s about to put herself in slumber when she heard a knock on the door. Did she groan again, because really? 

 

“Go away,” she mumbled on her pillow.  
 5 minutes later before she decided to hoist herself up from the couch to answer the damn door. The knocks are getting really annoying by the passing minutes. She didn’t bother fixing herself first before facing whoever the person behind that loud noise.  
“Dahyunnie?” a voice called from the other side, and of course there’s only one person who owns that, irritatingly cute voice – wait, cute?  
“What now, Sana?” she banged her head on the closed door.  
“Can you open up?” the girl asked. “I have something for you,”  
Dahyun sighed, “…and of course Chaeyoungie, so open up now.”

 

She contemplates.

 

“I don’t want to,”   
“I’ll keep knocking here,” This girl, really.

 

Why did Sana have to annoy her now? She could do it tomorrow and Dahyun would be meekly fine by it. Why not yesterday or any day of this week for that matter? Oh of course - she kind of forgot, Sana was here yesterday morning too, and the preceding days before that. This girl really needs to learn Dahyun’s not interested in any of that gay shit she was trying to pull on her.

 

She hesitatingly opened the door and was met by a bubbling Japanese girl, casually standing on the other side of the door, smiling from ear to ear, holding a box of what seems to be choco pies. (No one should be allowed to be that damn glowing, it’s hurting her eyes)  
“Can you annoy me some other time?” she cries out frustratingly, the moment the door flings open.   
 “You look like…” Sana threw a once over at her; Dahyun’s only wearing way oversized shirt and a pair of boxer shorts – and her legs are too bright for this fine morning. Sana gulps, her eyes shots up when Dahyun clears her throat. “A mess?” the shorter girl glares at her. [She reckons Sana would still find her beautiful even in her hideous drunken state.]  
“Hangover?”  
“Isn’t it obvious?” she spits out; Sana wants to blame it on her headache.  
“I came here for peace, didn’t I?” she pouts, and it irked something on Dahyun. No one should be this smiley every morning.  
“Isn’t that all your reason?” she crosses her hands on her chest waiting for her to continue.  
“Do you maybe wanted to go have breakfast with me?” she looked at her with those hopeful eyes and insistent smile, and her defenses almost – almost crumble. She looked so cute whenever she does that thing with her eyes – o  
“No,” she hurriedly answers while subtly shaking her head, one of these days and she needs to stop listening to Chaeyoung talked about Sana.  
“I know a good pancake house. You like pancakes, right?”   
“I said no, Sana” Dahyun might’ve seen a bit of pain in Sana’s eyes but she quickly shook it off, besides Sana should’ve been used to it by now.  
 “But Dahyunnie-,” the taller girl plead; Dahyun figures Sana will continue pestering her if she didn’t do anything soon. So she opted to step out the threshold and stand in front of her with her hands still crossed. “Leave,”  
Sana’s about to launch herself into Dahyun, but the younger girl had already two hands blocking her from moving further “Just leave, damn it.” 

 

“Okay,” she smiled sadly at her. She bowed her head and started slowly moving her feet backward. “Tell Chaeyoungie I said hi.” The Japanese girl said in her soft voice, Dahyun just rolled her eyes.

 

Dahyun may know a lot of things about Sana; like how she knows Sana’s the one dropping flowers on their front door every Sunday, or like how she’s a dangerous predator that needs to be avoided at all costs. But she will never know how much effect Sana does to her heart. She stopped listening to that crazy part of her brain that tells her to just go for it.

 

Dahyun didn’t notice that Sana’s face fell the moment she threw her back at her. She’ll never notice it.  
\--------------------------------------------  
A few hours later and she woke up in her slumber from a noise in the kitchen. She walked the few steps distance of the living room to their kitchen to find Chaeyoung idly whistling to herself (she’s pretty sure it was a Demi Lovato song) She’s preparing something, a sandwich perhaps, since neither of them could cook. She felt weird seeing the younger girl this bouncy.  
“Glad one of us woke up pleasantly,” Dahyun announced her presence and made her way beside Chaeyoung. “Did you even sleep at all?”  
Chaeyoung answered with a “Kind of”  
“Figures, you look shit,” she stated her observation, stopping herself from further questioning the girl about her sudden disappearance this morning; she figured she needed time for herself.  
Feeling herself getting hungry, she tried hard to reach her stash of ramen from the pantry, but her short limbs can only provide enough length to touch the handle. She can literally use the chair to help her up, but there are times where she wants to show the younger one that she can do anything independently, but in this situation, her independence seems futile. “Why do my arms have to be these small?" Chaeyoung amusedly watched her from the side while enjoying her sandwich. She laughed when Dahyun tried to go for it again and ended up failing. “Why don’t you just use a chair?” Dahyun is stubborn, that’s a fact.  
 “Why are you laughing? You’re shorter than me, short-stack.” She said, grabbing the chair, apparently defeated, “Yeah, but you’re dumber.” Chaeyoung flicks her head then grabs something from the refrigerator and gives it to Dahyun.  
“What’s this?”  
“For your hangover, Sana said I should give it to you.”  
“…okay,” she didn’t expect that at all.  
“She cares for you more than you know, despite the fact that you’re always pushing her away.”  She left Dahyun with a dumbfounded face and sauntered away back to the living room. 

 

Dahyun shakes away the thought of the Japanese girl, she dismisses how her heart melted at the gesture because she believes that it’s only one of her plans to get into her pants, she knows Sana better than anyone.

 

She started to prepare her food, about 5 minutes later and she joined Chaeyoung who’s now sitting on the other side of the couch, remote on her hand and lazily switching between multiple channels. “These shows are boring,” she muttered.  
“No, you’re just lame,” Dahyun mumbled with her mouthful. 

 

Silence follows between the both of them as they indulge themselves in the calmness that is the afternoon. Dahyun had long gone finished her ramen and is now lying down on the couch with her head on Chaeyoung’s lap; the pale girl had stopped paying attention to the TV. Instead, she watches Chaeyoung as the girl laugh, and it bothers her so much; she had never seen her glowing like this in years, she seems…happy?

 

“You’re smiling,” she pronounces, catching Chaeyoung off guard.  
“Am I not allowed to?” Chaeyoung looks down on her,   
Dahyun hoists herself up and stared at her, the younger girl looks at her with confusion.  
“No, of course, you do. It was me being stupid,” she reassured the girl. “It’s just uncommon to see you like this. You seem happy,” And to think that you cried yourself out last night, she wanted to add - yet she can’t, because she knows Chaeyoung would only deflect and not talk to her about her ‘feelings’ at all, she still needs to know the reason why she’s currently gleaming.

 

“Hmm,” the girl replied and turned her attention back to the TV. “I met a girl this morning,”   
“…and what?” She looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to continue. “I know there’s something else, spill,”   
“I kissed her,” Chaeyoung confessed. Dahyun reckons she’s recalling the scene in her head; the faint red-tint on her cheek can attest to that.  
“You…what?” she asks, eyes widening in shock. She grabs Chaeyoung on both shoulders and violently shakes her. “You kissed a girl??”   
“Why do you sound so shocked?”She tries to remove herself from Dahyun’s ferocious hands. “You don’t sound happy for me,” she uttered mockingly.

 

It’s not that Dahyun doesn’t want her to be happy – No; don’t get her wrong, it’s just that it was unlikely of the girl to do such an impulsive thing. Chaeyoung was never a reckless kid: she always does things after hours of careful deliberations, and for her to do just as like what she confessed, it makes Dahyun’s head go haywire.

 

“It’s not because of what happened last night, is it?” oh, of course, Dahyun remembers her almost breakdown.  
Chaeyoung looked at her like she had grown a second head. The girl started clenching her fist. “Don’t mention that, ever again,” she muttered with forceful intent. She stood up and started walking to her room, Dahyun followed along. “It was fine, Dahyun. I’m fine.” 

 

 “You’ve got to at least talk about it!” Pointed out the older girl, “You literally almost broke down in front of me, cried yourself out to sleep, and what? Ran away and fucking comes back here to tell me you kissed a girl? How any of this is fine?”  
“It was just a kiss; don’t make it such a big deal,” Chaeyoung sits on her bed. Her head bowed and her hair hiding her face, she started to play with the ring on her finger; a nervous tick, Dahyun learned from her years of rooming with the girl.

“Yeah, let’s forget the part that it was with a complete stranger,” she emphasized the last word, leaning her side on Chaeyoung’s door.  
“What If I told you it’s because of last night, what you’re going to do about it?” Chaeyoung professed she said it warily like she’s trying to look strong; not like a coward who’s about to fall down anytime soon. Dahyun clearly knows the reason; she just wanted to hear it from her.   
 “It’s done Dahyun, it had already happened as if you can change whatever’s in the past.”  
 “Goddamn it Chaeyoung, you can’t just throw yourself out to strangers just because you’re hurt and there’s someone that’s willing to give you their smallest bit of attention,” she wants to throw the lump up on her throat. “T-that’s outright stupid,”  
“So you’re telling me I’m an attention-seeker, is that what you meant?” the pain in her voice is as clear as the tears that are threatening to fall, she lets out a breath like she’s trying to whisk away any loose ends of hurt.  
“No, I’m telling you to grow up and let her go,” Dahyun bites her lip like it’s about to bleed, she weighs up the consequences of continuing, and she couldn't find a reason not to. “Mina doesn’t love you – she never did.” She sees Chaeyoung tensed up on her seat and stopped playing with her ring.

 

 “W-what did you say?” the photographer raises her head to reveal her pain-streaked eyes and tear-stained face. Dahyun can feel the sadness slowly enveloping the girl. She doesn’t have to go that far, but she can’t put up with her stupid actions anymore, not if it involves Myoui Mina. It’s the only way for her to realize Mina’s not worth anything. “Repeat what you said,”

 

Silence falls and the only thing that can be heard is Chaeyoung’s faltering breathes and Dahyun’s pounding heart.   
Dahyun couldn’t meet her eyes. “I’m pretty sure you heard me right,”   
“Get out!” she’s trying not to scream. “I’m done talking to you,”

 

Dahyun whispers an apology, but it was rendered ignored given that Chaeyoung’s clouded mind had already gotten the best of her, the latter stood up from where she is and walked where she’s currently standing “Please, Dahyun just get out!” her pleading voice faltered at the last words. 

 

Dahyun steps out of the room as Chaeyoung slams the door on her face. She wanted to comfort the girl, but there are things to consider; one of them being her pride getting in the way, and the fact that she utterly ruined her friend. She feels the guilt creeping in as she stares at the closed door, A part of her conscience tells her to leave as what the girl told her to do, the more sane part tells her to stay, because what if she hurts herself again? If something goes wrong it’d be your fault.

 

“Chaeyoung ah, open the door,” she shouts through the door.  
She can’t hear even a bit of shuffling or whatever, her heart started to hammer again.  
She can’t think of anything else other than “What if she goes back from that person she was from years ago,” they can’t afford to see her like that again; it was the most nightmarish version of Chaeyoung she ever saw. 

 

She continued to knock on the door furiously. Minutes later and she almost thanked all the gods above when the door flings open and reveals the bloodshot-eyed Chaeyoung - or maybe it's too early for any of that.

 

“Where are you going?” she used her small body to block the girl, and prevent her from stepping out.  
“Somewhere away from you,” Chaeyoung whispered, fixing the strap of her bag. “Please let me out,” Dahyun looked at her skeptically.  
“I’m not going to hurt myself if that’s what you’re worried about. Just leave me alone,” she lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding for long since their argument started.

Chaeyoung looked at her like she wants to say something like she wanted to share her sentiments but afraid of doing so. She grabs hold of her hand and squeezes it tight – the smaller girl didn’t flinch or anything and she reckons that’s enough reassurance for now. She slowly slides on the side and let Chaeyoung walked past her. “Sorry,” she whispered.

 

“Don’t be,” Chaeyoung stops at her track, she shakes her head and clears her throat as if trying to found her voice. “D-don’t feel sorry for me, I’m well-capable of that on my own.”

 

Dahyun watched her back as the girl grabs her phone from the table, she strides away into the door, and walked out just like that; she stormed away, leaving remnants of her broken heart, waiting for something – or someone to pick it up back together for her.   
Dahyun was left standing; wallowing in her own guilt. Chaeyoung promised her that she’s not going to try anything that can harm herself, but why does she feel like she’d been blatantly lied to? She thinks about what will happen, her pessimism slowly growing on her back, and tears fall down as she stared longingly at the closed door. I’m sorry. I just wanted to protect you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also posted on aff, yyiiet.


End file.
